| Report: | Match Report by Tim El Veg [The Vale's most healthy sports reporter]
The penultimate game. Usually, at this stage, there are two camps of desperation. Those scrabbling for bonus points to keep them up and those liable to tactical calf strains... Neither of these teams seemed to fall into either category, but this didn't detract from some exhibition sport tonight.
Cometh the hour, cometh the man. 10 mins before the game, Dan gets the call all captains dread. Jimmy, aka the Dark Knight, has dropped out. He quickly reaches out to the Cowbridge community. The bat sign is lit onto a cloudless sky but falls on deaf ears. Then, out of the mist, with only a 10-minute warning comes Cowbridge's own superhero. I can only presume Dave Mathews arrived by motorbike wearing his pants over the top of his jeans, dismounted, beat his opponent 3-0, then rode back into the mist. Not all superheros wear capes. Some just live really close.
Dan's heart rate had settled, and it was his turn to step up to the plate. Riding high on his return to competitive squash, he snatched the first 2 games. But still nursing a hangover from the recent Toon army celebrations with Ant and Dec, he dropped the 3rd, and at 14-8 down in the 4th, he turned to desperation. Well, his name is Dan after all and he defied his critics to pull it back, emphatically winning the last 17-15
Si the reliable up next. Need we ask? Simon said, "Play 5 games of exhibition squash and make the crowd's jaws drop." Well, if the crowds were there, jaws would have dropped. They weren't and nor was anyone else, but I'm told it was the best game of squash this side of the millennia.
Chris is also known as the "ice man." Not just for his performance on dancing on ice but also for the ability to crowd please. He tells me he declined to perform the trademark "windmill" tonight, now more accurately known as the "tinmill." He described a new technique that involved switching sides in an effort to stun his opponent. Sounds like something that words just don't do justice. Anyway, it seemed to work as he still lost the point. Nevertheless, he still walked away with 3 points to Cowbridge.
Tim missed last week's fixture after the birth of a new pup. Having finally persuaded Mrs E that team squash is more of a priority than looking after the 2nd born, he was released. Unfortunately for Mark, the Golden Retrievers style was not ideal for him, and it took a game to adjust. Pulling one back in the second, it looked like he had gotten under the retriever's collar. Sadly, the retriever was slippery and pulled off the "boast of a century" to avoid the match going to 5.
20 points to Cowbridge and a big shout out to the man of the hour Dave "Robin" Mathews. We've left you a pie and 16 tins of baked beans for you at the clubhouse. |
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