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| Report: | [Report by Tim E]
Grab a whisky and find your favourite armchair. Settle in to the second installment of Cowbridge B Vs Cardiff C.
On the back of a brace of losses Al was looking thirsty tonight. Last week he had remarked that his loss was primarily due to the lack of support so the team made some calls and the grandstand was full. Centre court has never looked so supported. That was until Al complained that there was too much support and asked everyone to be quiet. Stefan was a mean competition even for The Raging Bull however. His finishing was on point while Al's finishing was on pints. Sadly the squash leagues are won on points and despite pulling one back in the 3rd, Al couldn't quite get comfortable. 0-1
Next to court Chris Vs Gareth (v). Did you know that a vegetarian diet has not only been proven to improve the strength but also the stamina of a man's erection? Anyway this pulsating top seed clash was sure to be a long hard fought victory and it didn't disappoint. Chris who'd had 2 weeks off visiting the likes of Rome looked firm to take the first 2 games... Well he would of if he'd bloody called 1 at 14-14. Sadly he peaked prematurely and Gareth had the stamina to take both games 17-16. Outrageous. Chris feeling hard done by reacted by winning a game of his own but powered by lentils Gareth saw the match out. From now on Mrs D. It's a vegan only diet for the big man. 0-2
Coming from his first loss of the season last week Tim hit the ground running. He turned up to the Krispy Creme store and ordered a donut. Sadly Murph gave him a point change in the first and he was left wanting. Once Murph had worked him out it was a lot closer but once again the incessant retriever ground him down and took a much needed 3 points. 1-2
The Crafty Fox was up next, his claws sharpened. I eagerly asked the audience about this one as missed the action entirely. I wasn't given a lot I'm not going to lie. The game was described as friendly and everyone got on well. For f***s sake. How am I supposed to embellish that. Honestly. Bloody do gooders. In the interests of keeping the word count down Joe beat Si. 1-3
Last but not least Tony stepped in, in place of Dan who still nursing a dodgy wrist injury from a lot of internet banking for the club remained sidelined. Sorry that was cheap but I'm getting tired. Steve was a tricky player to play with one of those annoying lofty serves that seem to always land. To be fair they were super effective. Tony put up a decent fight and it looked like it was going to be a tasty tie at the end of the second. Alas Steve was too tricky and saw it out. 1-4
Pie and chips to end it. Just what the doctor ordered. Or is it? The Guardian is a reliable source right? Food for thought.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/shortcuts/2019/nov/25/vegan-diet-better-erection |
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| Author: | Dan Patterson |
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