|
|
 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Report: | note: Hirwaun's no5 was on his way but had a car breakdown and wasn't able to make it. Cowbridge have claimed the walkover for string 5.
Full match report [by Tim E]
Alright so the Bs ain't been their best recently. Hirwaun. Her what? Exactly. Who cares.
It was only suitable that Alex would play Alyx tonight. The backstory is that Al has completely given up the booze and is not allowed to do anything unless it involves grated truffle and authorisation from his personal trainer. Alyx had already admitted she was 4 pints of guinness down before she stepped on court. It was like Good vs Evil. John Smith turning up to alcohol anonymous meeting. Adam vs the Snake in the Garden of Eden but with pints rather than apples and fortunately with more clothes on. Oh and there was some squash. Al lost the squash but not the fight for the good. You'd have to cut his hair, fight his personal trainer and call him Judy before he'd be tempted to go back.
Dan was still high on a mighty comeback to squash from a period of whinging about a "sports injury" that was suspiciously contracted after a lot of internet banking. I mean the man's just pumped to be back. It doesn't really matter what the score is. We're all here for a good time not a long time. Sadly the fun didn't last very long and Lee didn't get the memo.
Tim was fresh with disappointment having let the team down last week after contracting a severe case of the squits at the last minute. He had prepared a monologue but this has been redacted for safety reasons. Like a phoenix rising from a latrine he was confident that shorts were once again safe. Like Dan he was just elated to be alive. He did put up a fight and it looked a tasty tie at 1-1. At 14-14 in the last he suddenly started sweating, a flashback came over him and he fired 2 services wildly into the ceiling. It was bad. But not as bad as what he fired into the roof of his toi*censored*. Ryan deserved it tbf but I'm not sure there was any more room on his arse to tattoo a souvenir after his encounter with the Golden Retriever tonight. Shame.
There was dignity to recover tonight and Chris was the man for the job. Always a gentleman on the court. He decided to allow Louis in like a crocodile waiting for its prey to edge that little bit closer. 1 game down. No problem. 2 games down. Ooooo you wait. Right where he wants him... Then SNAP! ... 3-0 loss. Tbf he did actually try to serve a leisure centre boast tonight. I stress try. His game plan was to upset. That he did. You showed him mate.
At this point things were desperate. Fortunately Tim had already foreseen the ineptitude of his team mates and wouldn't let anything go to chance. He instead arrived conveniently later than the others. A few nails trailing from his bag. His opponent Morgan sadly couldn't make it tonight. I don't know. Something about a blowout on the M4. Whatever. He probably drove to Newcastle by accident. 3-0 Cowbridge. Emphatic win.
A great night with great opponents. Great to be back. With sausages as long as your arms Cowbridge's post match teas are becoming famous. Thanks Hirwaun. Tim Nicholls. Man of the match. *for legal reasons CSC would also like to point out that Tim Nicholls was with his wife and children between the hours of 6.30 and 7.30pm this evening upon arriving at the squash club at 7.31pm.
|
|---|
| Author: | Dan Patterson |
|---|
| |  |  |  |
|
