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Report: | On paper, this fixture looked like the deadest, rubberiest of rubbers with the bottom 2 teams going through the motions, and for what? The kind of game that would feature last on a highlights programme. But hang on a minute. With the rumours swirling around that only 1 team might go down, this suddenly became an epic struggle for survival!
Llantrisant had strayed from their usual territory and were prowling around Cowbridge looking for their second win of the season. A mustashioed Sam was looking as buff as a love island contestant and puffed his chest out on court 2 in a dramatic display of strength and vigour but new recruit Sean, a West Walian man mountain was not going to budge and held firm to give the home team the lead.
According to official records there is only 1 golden retriever left in SC1 and Tim was clearly worried about facing extinction. Squash is evolving fast and younger players like Madalena will be more than happy to take over one day but tonight there was still some fight in the old dog who wasn't ready to give up his bone, or his life in SC1 just yet. 2 nil Cowbridge.
After 9 team defeats in a row, Dan's captaincy was under threat and he would have been forgiven for taking on a Warren Gatland esq demeanor but he knew the importance of this fixture and took advantage of Llantrisant's weakened side, like any natural predator would do and didn't give the unusually forlorn Rich a sniff, taking the game 3 nil.
In some misguided pre match sledging, Ben had been giving Chris the big ones and some chat about doing court sprints and burpees to prepare for the match. Chris had spent the weekend doing tequila shots and burgers so no-one could have expected to see Chris win. In fact, we all thought we would see Halley's comet again first, but like a meteor, Ben came down to earth with a bump and Chris' season went into orbit!
With the team 4 nil up (sorry what?) and celebrating their first win of a difficult season it was up to the Silver Fox to deal the final blow. His opponent Josh, without a win all season, would surely be easy prey for someone as wily as Si but this thrash metal, mullet wearing, drumming Hellman was having none of it. In the game of survival, the fittest win at the expense of their rivals and Si paid the ultimate price.
Down by the watering hole, both teams foraged for what they could find. Fortunately, sausage and chips were in abundance and as Darwin once said "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, it is the one that eats the most chips". |
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Author: | Dan Patterson |
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