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| Report: | Match Report by Tim E
David Lloyd is known for its swanky pad and overpriced lattes but since the new renovation at Cowbridge its a close call to decide who's top on the swankometer.
Having turned up predictably late with the plan to snaffle 3 packets of mini cheddars (red leicester flavour) and blame it on a busy day at work, Tim was bested by his team mates and found himself 1st on court. Without his cheese hit he looked ropey in the warm up. Julian sporting a new titanium knee was after more than a cheap snack. Fortunately for mankind, bog standard regular knees still win. Humans 1. Robots 0.
At the same time Al was heard trying to boast about his performance at his recent BST session. I still haven't confirmed that these aren't just a cover up for alcoholics anonymous meets. Regardless of what he's doing it seemed to be working tonight. While Matt looked spritely on his feet with shots to match, it still won't replace dedication and a really smart haircut. 2-0 Cowbridge.
Simon, now a big name on campus having returned with his head held high from a hard fought weekend at The Masters. His opponent Hugh, well ummm I've never seen a man wearing brighter shoes. What was also striking about him was that he had an armspan of 2 fully grown albatrosses. This worked in his favour and the crafty fox struggled to get much past him. That said he is very crafty and the game was mighty close. When you're carrying round limbs that size you start to get tired. But after calling set 1 at 14- 14 it was a perfectly executed spoon driven shot into the nick that confidently put Simon to bed. 2-1.
Not going to lie I joined late for this one so used post match accounts to fill the blanks. Chris having lost the first 2 games had decided to let Matt decide his own fate by giving him 3 match points in the 3rd. Psyche! The rest was history. In what will go down in squash history as the biggest comeback in South Central 2 at 2nd seed this calendar month of Tuesdays so far. No gif could sum up how Chris managed it but he did and Cowbridge had secured the bonus points.
Dan turns to me stoney faced and confirms that I am definitely aware how to use a defibrillator. I look up and see Jimmy 3 points in and immediately understand his concern. Fortunately the Mr Motovator shorts lure his opponents away from the fact he has a slightly higher cardiovascular risk than most. Jimmy almost made a fatal mistake after admitting he was f**cked at 1-1 in games. An easy slip up to make. I thought he was done for after Dave had figured out his secret but Jimbo's decision to call set 3 at 14-14 in the 5th confused Dave so much he couldn't handle it. 4- 1 Cowbridge. Superb to watch and a cracking finish to a great night.
David Lloyd may have butlers holding warm towels and truffle mayonnaise but Cowbridge has pie night and brown sauce. Have I said it before? Best post match grub in the league. Fact. Thoroughly enjoyable. Thanks lads.
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| Author: | Dan Patterson |
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| Away Report: | ' Tarquin, be a darling, pray tell me why those commoners from Cowbridge are being so beastly. They gave us a jolly good beating, took us to the rugger club and fed us those pie things I’ve only ever seen once before when I accidentally stumbled across the servant quarters where that rather attractive wench resides.
It’s going to be absolutely yonks before the return fixture, tallyho to that, we’ll hide the bubbly, give them a spot of tea and show them that we’re down wiv the kidz.
Tata for now
Marquis DLloyd' |
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| Notes: | AG 2R
Great match report as always! |
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