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| Report: | With the B's averaging 3.5 points per fixture over the last month there was an air of inevitability about the final game of the season. A malaise had taken hold, half the team were 'already on the beach' and it was the captain's job to rally the troops one last time and finish the season on a high. Or just less low.
Now I'm not saying that I've been influenced in any way by the book I'm reading by Rob Mundle, who is unquestionably a gifted maritime narrator but... All aboard for the final report of the season!
The B's were low on crew with the ship's Chocolatier suffering from mal de mer or something fancy and the bull still nursing a poorly hoof so they quite appropriately called on Master Bates to help out. This report is writing itself!
The captain took the helm and set things off on a steady course by taking the first rubber 3 nil. It was a rare win in what has been a rough season but this captain is a hardy soul and has never been one to leave a sinking ship. Unless it was for a month in Málaga.
Tim's time on board was limited due to some alternative endeavour so he got to it forthwith against a familiar opponent. Like a replay of previous encounters the wind and tide were firmly in Tim's favour and Kev could do little to stem the flow of relentless retrieval. 2 nil MooToon.
Tonight's cabin boy was Cut Throat Luke, aka Master Bates, who was summoned to the upper decks of division 1 to learn the ropes. He seemed to adapt quickly and soon had his opposite number under the weather. Huw just couldn't fathom what Luke was doing and like a sudden wind shift, the B's season began to change from turbulent to tolerable. 3 nil.
Over on Hamlet it was anything but plain sailing for the captain's mate as Sam had mutiny on his mind as he led the match 2-1 and looked destined for glory. A few words of inspiration from the captain was all Si needed to get things back on an even keel. The 4th and 5th were close but the fox hung on until the bitter end and won it 17-16 in the 5th!
The B's have been all at sea for weeks but were somehow on course for a big win. It was a long shot but if anyone could pull it off it was the Ice Man. His game with Gary was always going to go all the way. It ebbed and flowed, but Chris is no landlubber and came through with flying colours taking the match 3-2 and securing a 20 point bounty!
Approximately 0.1 nautical miles South East, the rugby club's mess deck was laid out for a fine end of season supper. But this was no square meal, no sir, this was as round as they come and rammed with chunks of meat in a rich gravy. The B's and Llantrisant rejoiced, drank rum and exchanged sea shanties until closing time. The End.
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| Author: | Dan Patterson |
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| Notes: | AG2R
excellent match report as ever and very pleased to hear post match there was no need for drinking urine or picking the weevils out of biscuits required! |
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