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| Report: | Match report (by B team)
Due to the inexplicable algorithms of league master, Cowbridge C's found themselves stuck in division 2 for another season despite repeated attempts to leave it. This of course meant that the average squash fan could look forward to a couple of great derbys, the first of which was tonight.
Cowbridge B v Cowbridge C. 1st v 7th. The big cheeses v the dairylee triangles. Such was the importance of this fixture, the B's flew in their beloved leader for the occasion. In he walks, 'el capitan' fresh from foreign shores, looking all tanned and smug. But sadly, shit at squash so he was benched for this one!
The Silver Fox opened the show against Dave who had been drafted in to help out due to Mr Tickles' fat ankle. Apart from a slight scare in the second game and some wild accusations of bribing the home team ref, Simon did what Simon does. He meticulously dispaches his opponents with endless perfect shots, sending them into a trance while he himself drifts off in his own thoughts. We've often wondered what Si thinks about. It turns out he thinks about a night in with big Sean watching Netflix and chilling.
Contrary to his overall appearance, Binary Al was up for it tonight. His hair, an unruly thatch and in lieu of team kit, he'd borrowed his son's Spiderman outfit for the occasion. After weeks of work in the gym and no booze, he'd said before the game that he wanted to test his fitness. From the balcony however, the only thing being tested was the elasticity of this new outfit. Meds took a game but Al, like his top, held firm and got the job done.
The Retriever, often seen as the youngter of the team faced up and coming young pup Ash in the string 3 fixture. Ash, only 19, well trained and sure to be a rising star at Cowbridge, was putting the ball everywhere but Tim just loves to run and duly lapped it up. Ash took a game and also learned a valuable lesson. No matter how young and fit you are , when you play the retriever you have to be able to go the distance.
It was almost Diva o'clock but for once, Beyonce and Britney had arrived on time and were ready to play. Jimmy, (Britney), the Master Chocolatier already had his chef whites on and was conjuring up something really special for the beast of broad haven. Sean did his best to stay on court as long as possible, mainly because Si was drooling over the balcony but he couldn't do much to stop Jimmy who just seems to get better by the week.
New slimline Chris is so thin now, he can get on the court without even opening the door. When asked how he'd lost all the weight, he confessed that he'd simply stopped eating 3 weeks ago. #worrying. James, never one to disappoint (off court) arrived dressed like a geography teacher. The tweed suit had clearly seen better days but he somehow pulls it off. James' contribution to the game comprised a healthy collection of tins. Chris on the other hand was all about entertainment and to finish off, he corkscrew served on match point and then sent James for a taxi.
Over in the Rugby club it felt totes awks when Si sat right next to Sean, who's eyes were glistening with fear. James, once again stole the show by turning up in a baby grow. So while the rest of us drank beer and tried to make a dent in the vat of beans, Chris heated up a bottle of milk and for the second time tonight, he put the tin man to bed.
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| Author: | Alex Meredith |
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| Notes: | AG 2R - excellent match report as ever |
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